Heaving a frustrated sigh and tilting his head to rub at the back of his neck, Sam averts his gaze to the ceiling for a moment before looking back at his brother.
Because. 'Because I'm older.' 'Because I'm the big brother.' If Sam had a fucking nickel for every time in his life he's gotten that as an answer.
"You realize you didn't actually answer my question."
He hadn't told him what he'd done, the things he had actually tried in order to get Sam back. But Dean is just as stubborn as Sam and Sam knows it, so he's realizing this may be a battle he'll have to save for another day. Not concede defeat, just call a truce maybe until there's a better time. If there ever will be a better time. As much as he'd like to keep pushing to get actual answers, rather than Dean asking Sam to 'just believe him,' like they're still kids. Like Sam's asking about why they move around all the time and where's Dad always going and Dean's telling him just stop asking questions and trust me. Protecting him, or trying to. At his own expense often enough, which is what bothers Sam. His mind is going to keep supplying possible things that Dean may have done to try and get him back, like Sam's life held more meaning than his own, like Sam would just be okay with being brought back at Dean's expense. Because that's what it came down to, didn't it? When bringing people back? You had to make some sort of sacrifice.
It occurs to him then, something else that's struck him as wrong and out of place this entire time that he couldn't exactly put his finger on, since Dean had shown up. His gaze flickers to Dean's neck, where there's always been a chord, down to where the amulet always sits right there on his breastbone. There's nothing. It's gone. Sam straightens up immediately, brows furrowing. How did I even miss that?
"Dean, where's...?" He lifts his hand, touching it to his own chest before pointing at Dean's, looking him in the eye again with a frown.
Had he tried to use it somehow? Because it was something Sam had given him? It didn't seem out of the realm of possibility, that some magic spell or whatever might call for something like that. It held a lot of importance to Dean and he knows, because it's incredibly rare for him to take it off. But he's sort of jumping to conclusions about it, isn't he? Maybe it had absolutely nothing to do with the anything and everything Dean apparently tried to get him back, and his brother just had it in his pocket tucked away for... What, safe-keeping? Or another bad thing had gotten it, like that shapeshifter Sam still has nightmares about occasionally, right along with everything else he has nightmares about. Because being tortured by a sadistic, murderous being wearing your own brother's face wasn't a trauma anyone could get over completely, even after a year. Even after a lifetime, probably.
And it's not like he doesn't trust Dean. He trusts that he's full of good intentions, he trusts that this is Dean and not another possible shapeshifter. It's just that the problem doesn't lie in trusting him, in believing him. It lies in knowing him. And Sam does.
no subject
Because. 'Because I'm older.' 'Because I'm the big brother.' If Sam had a fucking nickel for every time in his life he's gotten that as an answer.
"You realize you didn't actually answer my question."
He hadn't told him what he'd done, the things he had actually tried in order to get Sam back. But Dean is just as stubborn as Sam and Sam knows it, so he's realizing this may be a battle he'll have to save for another day. Not concede defeat, just call a truce maybe until there's a better time. If there ever will be a better time. As much as he'd like to keep pushing to get actual answers, rather than Dean asking Sam to 'just believe him,' like they're still kids. Like Sam's asking about why they move around all the time and where's Dad always going and Dean's telling him just stop asking questions and trust me. Protecting him, or trying to. At his own expense often enough, which is what bothers Sam. His mind is going to keep supplying possible things that Dean may have done to try and get him back, like Sam's life held more meaning than his own, like Sam would just be okay with being brought back at Dean's expense. Because that's what it came down to, didn't it? When bringing people back? You had to make some sort of sacrifice.
It occurs to him then, something else that's struck him as wrong and out of place this entire time that he couldn't exactly put his finger on, since Dean had shown up. His gaze flickers to Dean's neck, where there's always been a chord, down to where the amulet always sits right there on his breastbone. There's nothing. It's gone. Sam straightens up immediately, brows furrowing. How did I even miss that?
"Dean, where's...?" He lifts his hand, touching it to his own chest before pointing at Dean's, looking him in the eye again with a frown.
Had he tried to use it somehow? Because it was something Sam had given him? It didn't seem out of the realm of possibility, that some magic spell or whatever might call for something like that. It held a lot of importance to Dean and he knows, because it's incredibly rare for him to take it off. But he's sort of jumping to conclusions about it, isn't he? Maybe it had absolutely nothing to do with the anything and everything Dean apparently tried to get him back, and his brother just had it in his pocket tucked away for... What, safe-keeping? Or another bad thing had gotten it, like that shapeshifter Sam still has nightmares about occasionally, right along with everything else he has nightmares about. Because being tortured by a sadistic, murderous being wearing your own brother's face wasn't a trauma anyone could get over completely, even after a year. Even after a lifetime, probably.
And it's not like he doesn't trust Dean. He trusts that he's full of good intentions, he trusts that this is Dean and not another possible shapeshifter. It's just that the problem doesn't lie in trusting him, in believing him. It lies in knowing him. And Sam does.