[LOG] Introducing the new comedy hit on MTT TV: So-so Cop, Dog Cop, Glam-Cop

[aghostinthemachine]

Who: Mettaton, Sam Winchester, and Dust (and whoever else may want to join in)
What: Kicking out freeloaders, MTT Style! (Ingratitude Quest)
Where: Miss Yuka's Inn
When: Backdated to Day 12
Other: Warnings: MTT Brand Humor

[Having no meaningful reputation in this strange world, Mettaton felt it was about time to change that and earn some much needed brownie points with the denizens of Domina. After hearing about the problem a "Miss Yuka" was having with some of her residents, the robot took it upon himself to help the chicken monster.

... Hopefully there would be a reward.

However, he hasn't expected to be partnered up with someone else for this task. As Miss Yuka introduces them to each other, Mettaton looks dooownnn at both the dog and the human male, hands planted firmly on his hips.

They were obviously going to cramp his style. Hiding his distaste for this turn if events, the robot offers one of his (self) award winning smiles.]

Mettaton. An absolute pleasure to make your acquaintances.

[Yuka further instructs them of what rooms and what the residents names. There are a number of them but the ones that catch Mettaton's attention are Valerie and David, a Sproutling, and Mr. Eduardo.

"You can divid and conquer or work together. I don't care how you do it, just get them out of here!"

The glambot turns towards the others and raises an eyebrow.]

I'm fine with either choice.

[Not really.]

But I'll allow you two to pick.

Comments

[escapedestiny]

If you'll just talk to us we may be able to work things out. Miss Yuka's been pretty understanding and reasonable from my experience with her. You have to understand she's running a business though and you staying here without paying means that she's losing money.

[The penguin pirate mentions something about that being David's responsibility, and Sam's eyebrows raise as he looks to his two companions in this. He recognizes it as one of the names Miss Yuka had mentioned (not to mention the person Valerie had mistaken them for when she'd opened the door) and she'd seemed to imply they were supposed to be staying in the same room.

He turns back to Valerie.]

Okay. Do you know where he is, then? Could we speak with him?

[aghostinthemachine]

["The bastard is in the room next ta me. Don't expect him ta be very helpful though. Now if you'll excuse me."

And before any of them can say anything, she slams the door. Mettaton raises an eyebrow and places his hands on his hips.]

Well. How terribly rude. Hopefully David is more polite.

[It turns out he's even worse, putting the blame on Valerie and slamming the door in their face - or trying, at least, until Mettaton's leg is in the way. He forces a smile and leans forward, lowering his voice to almost a whisper.]

It would be in Valerie's and your best interest to work through whatever you two are butting heads over and pay Miss Yuka. Or else we may need to resort to... drastic measures.

[David and the robot exchange glares for a moment before he informs them that they were kicked off their ship because of their bickering. She wants to get married, he doesn't. So now they disagree over almost everything.]

Well, it just so happens that I used to run an advice show!

["Eh?"]

Marriage counseling, darling. The three of us can help you with your marriage problems.

[A pause.]

Then you can pay Miss Yuka for your rent.

[mithrarin]

[What. What.]

I'm not...

[There... really isn't much point in arguing, is there. Dust is fairly certain anyone, absolutely anyone, could tell he's the last person who should be giving advice on marital relations.]

[Unfortunately, David seems to have picked up on this as well -- because he agrees in an instant, no doubt convinced that three obvious bachelors (or two obvious ones and whatever Mettaton is) would never actually work things out in a way that would tie him down the way he's been avoiding.]

[escapedestiny]

[Sam's already kind of wishing he hadn't agreed to help out with any of this. This is not at all the kind of thing he's used to dealing with. Except he'd been studying law just a few years ago, so he should be able to handle disputes like this, right? He squares his shoulders, refusing to let out the sigh that keeps threatening to escape.

Oh, David. If he only knew Sam wasn't exactly a bachelor by choice but by necessity. As in, keep others from becoming targets of whatever beast or ghoul was threatening him any given week. He'd almost had a fiance, bought the ring and everything, and it had all gone up in flames quite literally.

He turns a little toward his two companions and away from David, lowering his voice.]

Think we can get them into the same room? It might help to feel out how they are with one another.

[See if there's anything left there to save, how bad the bickering really is, if they actually still love each other. Honestly, if they're sticking close by each other and not separating entirely, he's pretty sure there has to be. And goddamnit, is he really thinking about penguin relationship problems? Sam's life is so weird.]

[aghostinthemachine]

[Mettaton leans over to get into a semi-huddle with his two partners, drooping his noodly robotic arms over their shoulders.]

I think so. Worse comes to worse, I can restrain them.

[He turns back to David and smiles.]

Well then, let us grab your other half.

[Another knock on Val's door, who had been eavesdropping on the entire thing as made obvious by the yelp after the knock. She hastily opens the door, somehow blushing from being caught.

"Yes? What do ye want now?"]

Mr. David is willing to try and work things out with you. You may talk to the three of us about your problems.

[They get invited into Valerie's room, the two penguins sitting on the couch together although on opposite ends. Mettaton takes a seat in a near by chair, crossing his legs and folding his hands over his lap, waiting patiently while Dust and Sam get comfortable. Once they are, the robot clears his throat and begins talking. (Partially to spare the two from having to do so and partially because he enjoys hearing himself talk.)]

Now... Mr. David informs me you two had your falling out due to the fact that he was not ready to get married. Is this true?

["Yar. The heartless bas-"]

Mr. David, did you explain why you didn't want to elope?

["I told 'er I wasn't ready!"]

Yes, but why?

[The two penguins sit silently for a moment.

"'Cause..."

Mettaton stares, unamused.

"... I... I ain't ready for that level 'a commitment, ye see? We're still young! Haven't even sailed the 7 seas yet! I ain't ready ta' settle down and stop bein' a pirate!"

...

...

Valerie was about to open her mouth and start yelling but even that answer has her stupefied. Mettaton slowlllyyy looks from Sam and Dust then back to David.]

But darling. You're both pirates, are you not?

["Yar?"]

Then why would you have to quit?

[Another long silence before Val blows up, telling David he's an idiot for thinking that, that they can continue to be pirates even as husband and wife, it just makes things more romantic, more insults, etc. David returns the insults, informing her that she should have said that in the first place instead of leading him on and what not.

Mettaton lets out an exasperated sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose before glancing over at his partners, allowing them the chance to bestow some wisdom, should they feel like it.]

[mithrarin]

[Don't -- come on, Mettaton, you were doing really well. Dust folds his arms, possibly now the least approachable person in the world with that body language and hidden beneath his hat.]

[But, nevertheless, he speaks up, in that quiet and intense voice of his.]

I think you're both eager to argue and get upset... because you both mean a lot to each other. This whole thing has hurt you, so maybe your first question should be if you can forgive, and put the hurt aside. Stop being angry and just talk.

It would be a shame to lose something that meant a lot to you both over one misunderstanding.

[Maybe it's more how Dust speaks than what he's saying, but either way, David and Val stop arguing long enough to give him thoughtful looks. Of course, they might just be gearing up to turn all their insults on him.]

[escapedestiny]

[While Mettaton and the penguins sit down, Sam leans back against the door and shoves his hands in his pockets, shoulders slightly hunched as he watches and listens intently. He doesn't appear to mind at all the robot taking the lead here.

When it comes to the point about them both being pirates, Sam has to fight to keep his face neutral though his lips twitch in amusement anyway. Everything here is just so... surreal. The people especially. Somehow this couple's conflict is both exactly like and nothing like those of humans in his own world.

At the exasperated look Mettaton gives him, Sam just lifts an eyebrow, then turns to look at Dust as he begins speaking to the pirates, and finally he just lets the smile settle onto his face as he nods and redirects his own gaze to the couple on the couch.]

He's right. I don't think either of you had the intention to hurt the other, but you're busy focusing on your own pain and not thinking about how the other might be feeling. And you've both got options, you just have to sit down like this and discuss them with one another to decide what's going to work best for you.

...Except you can't stay here unless you're paying. That's pretty much the only option that's off the table.